Your views? Is it okay for a “proud” Hindu, Jain, Sikh or Buddhist (and/or for their children) to take the BBS labeling (conversion) oath to please the intended Christian/Jew/Muslim spouse or his/her family? Does the BBS means you are giving up more than 200 generations of your Dharmic heritage? Or, the BBS is just one of rituals devoid of any meaning, and is an easy way to please new in-laws? Is the BBS a DOWRY of your pride religion? Read Religious Conversion for Marriage and view several videos. Your thoughts?
View videos: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, All you want to know about the Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia: Hindu-Muslim Marriages,
Also read: Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus?, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Malaysia in love, Marriage laws.
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Back to Forum for Interfaith Relationships with Equality: Do I have to BBS?
10 Responses
Nancy,
My wife and I will teach our children the main tenets of BOTH our faiths. And we have even decided on names which are found in both religions. I was always raised liberal and my wife is also tolerant, so we don’t see anything wrong in celebrating holidays and customs from both faiths. The more the merrier is what I always say, who wouldn’t mind having more excuses to celebrate? It’s funny though you asked because before we got married, my wife actually asked me the same and I told her nothing she believes contradicts my own beliefs. We both believe in One God, and we share the same language and homeland, and giving to charity, being a good human being is the foundation of all great religions. I think I did get lucky because I get to learn new things from her side of the family everyday. But if I’m honest, religion isn’t really what comes across my mind when I’m with her, I just see her as the woman I fell in love with and I don’t really care at that point what faith she belongs to or what faith I belong to. She completes me and I thank God everyday for her. Sorry for getting sentimental there ?
Salman, have the two of you decided what religion your kids will follow?
To be honest, my wife is Sikh and when we got married, she never said the Shahdah because in Islam that is a form of accepting Islam (which is the mainstream view) so she did not say it and we had a simple ceremony in the court, because we belonged to different religions.
We had a reception after, just to celebrate and it was fine. No one in our families had a problem with that, and we are happy. But I think it depends on the spouse in question, these kinds of things should be discussed before the wedding ceremony so that both parties know where they stand. My thinking is more openminded and liberal, so I will never ask my wife to do something which I know I could not do. If I cannot change my faith, who am I to ask her to do the same? That’s hypocrisy. She is Sikh and will remain Sikh and I am still Muslim. We are happy and I don’t think someone should say it just to “please” their spouse’s family, because I think your faith is a part of who you are, and even though I am Muslim, whatever you are raised as, Hindu, Sikh, Jain, etc. you should stay within your faith b/c it is your identity.
Salman, I wish you and your wife a very happy married life. May God/Allah/Wahe Guru, (or my very own Lord Krishna) whichever name you wish to use and whichever concept you wish to follow, bless you and your family. Take care, brother.
@ sagnik,
Why don’t you read some thing or better research before saying or writing something?
Should an individual saying or writing something is sufficient enough to hold on to beliefs of falseness of multiculturalism and secularism and concept of all religions being same?
Ma’m, Islam is not just a religion; it is a cult and a political ideology. Why don’t you read something on their Prophet?
The worst thing is people coming to conclusions with out any basis or false propaganda.
It looks like in this age of info. and internet, one thing that people do not want to do is to read and verify.
But then, world is just waiting for sad events.
Why blame others for converting Hindus? We are to blame for our weakness to succumb. We don’t resist. Parents of A.R. Rahman changed their religion, and so did Kishore Kumar when he married Madhubala. Why are our kids converting in the United States? The parents are to blame because they are not fortifying their children. They don’t seem to care about our languages, our traditions, our way of life, when the kids are growing up. Our family values need to be protected in a powerful foreign environment. I am also as deeply concerned as you are. The Himalayas do not provide enough protection anymore. We Hindus have to do something about conversion and proselytization.
I totally agree Vishwanath, But what we must also do is to promote marriage with muslim girls. PLUS to counter their killing threat, a bigger threat to them. If you see, muslim proudly mention that xyz converted to islam and so fastest growing, islam is best religion etc etc etc. This is what other religion folks do not do, Primarily because leaving islam is a biggest crime and the person converting to other “true” religion will be killed if other muslims know. So they have made it one way. Either we give tit for tat to them or break there legs and hands when they do something wrong to hindus/christians. This is the only way. Thats how Isreal did it, that how it is supposed to be done
Muslims do have a one-way street, and they do tend to terrorize women who marry non-Muslims. They must be confronted boldly and collectively by all non-Muslims.
You men are pathetic. Marry your own Sita, sati savitri type of girls instead of trying to marry Muslim girls if this is your mindset. May G-D have mercy on you, if you are who you say you are. This type of revenge fantasy won’t get you anywhere in this life or the Hereafter. You are walking on the path of fire and unlike Sita, who proved her chastity to Ram, you may not pass this test, dear.
The statistics of > 30% hindus getting married outside their faith is not surprising at all. The reason is 90% of hindus do not educate their children in hindu values, philosophy, or Gita while raising them. God is just to beg some more of you want! Parents are happy children wearing indian clothes once a while, learn some music, dance, karate and baseball during growing years and never think about teaching them benefits of learning Gita and how life can be positive, enjoyable, & beneficial to all. The fascination for clothes, dance, music wear away soon as they enter into college. In the whirlwind of western culture and strong gusts of love who cares about religion as their mark of identity? In fact there was no habit of praying, no knowledege of those mystical prayers 9no one told the meaning), and never had any basis of philosophy!
Fortunately however there are many good places available now all over the western world- Balvihars and study groups run by likes of Chinmaya Mission, Jeeyer educational trust, swaminarayan, swadhyay etc. Joining children in these and teaching them systematically what Hinduism is and how its vision of vasudhiva kutumbakam while they are growing is one sure way of avoiding the future blunders. They find friends, playmates and eventually soulmates as well besides continuing legacy of a great kind, loving, caring for ALL and real universal religion.
It is this option if parents can choose early in child’s life 4-18 years, that we can prevent this ill fated trend and create a better world that is tolerant, scientific and All loving.
Thanks.
Dhananjay